2010 NY resolution: Singlehood
Jan. 4th 2010
I’m getting over a girl I very much loved. You know that saying you don’t know what you got till its gone, well that doesn’t apply to me. Its more like you CAN loose something you never had.
You know when all signs point to No, but there’s that one thing pointing to yes, your heart. That is her. I’ve never been the bad guy in the story but this time I am. Yes, I messed up so bad even without the act of cheating, I did. I cheated my heart, I cheated hers of a real chance. I feel like for the one time in my life when I decided to be a certain kinda girl, it failed worse than me just being what I’m best at, a great lover. I was cold and unsure about how to feel or handle what was happening and when things got hard I saw the best way to guarantee an end. I’m a hypo crate because I vowed when Love came crossing my path, I’d embrace it. Instead I put it under a microscope and analyzed the shit out of it.
So now for a year, I wait and see if we’re meant to be, shell come back. If she’s not, then at least I managed one of my life’s goals of not dating women for a year. I’ll be a chi-town catch, only available to one. None of my friends or family know and maybe Im crazy, but Im just doing what the heart wants.
At this point all bets are off..
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